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Control the emotional roller coaster after a job loss
By Marywyn Germaine interviewing Louann Hillesland MA, LPC for the Denver Post
One of the toughest aspects of being unemployed is dealing with grieving the change, you might find yourself on an emotional roller coaster. These emotions are perfectly natural. Psychologists tell us a job loss brings the equivalent stress and grieving as the loss of a loved one, a difficult divorce or experiencing a disaster. If you’re surprised, don’t be, suggests Louann Hillesland, M.A., LPC, a psychotherapist and owner of Counseling Connection in Centennial. “Losing your job creates a change in your role, your status and your family system. It’s not unusual to experience multiple dimensions of grief, which might mean denial, depression, feeling lost, confused, hurt, angry, helpless and hopeless. These feelings often turn on and off, along with possible social withdrawal, sleep disturbances, resentment, jealousy and perhaps even a feeling of relief.” Hillesland recommends taking time to acknowledge your feelings — whether it’s daily or once a week — talk with someone you trust and share with friends. Your goal is to eventually release yourself and others: “To forgive, let go and move on,” she advises. Take this time to check your thinking or belief system. “If you think you’re a loser because of your job loss, you’ll have a harder time,” states Hillesland. “In contrast, less destructive thinking may be to acknowledge that the economic environment is playing havoc with business, or realize that you weren’t a good fit with that particular company and take the situation less personally. |
“This is a great time to redefine yourself,” says Hillesland, “in terms of your priorities and goals. It might also be a chance to get to know yourself better, set new goals, maybe towards retraining, moving into a “hotter” industry or one better suited to your personal desires. Tulo’s story Colorado Rockies’ star shortstop Troy Tulowitzki offers a study in personal discovery. “Tulo’s leap year” was the lead story Feb. 3 in The Denver Post Sports section. It told of his pursuit of a dream, helping the Rockies to the 2007 World Series, followed by an offbalance throw in 2008 causing a torn left quadriceps. Suddenly, his dream job was taken by a healthy player. “The boy wonder was left to confront a sobering question: Who would he be if he didn’t have a bat in one hand and a glove in the other,” asked writer Troy E. Renck? “My worst year was my best year,” Tulowitzki responded. “I know that sounds crazy. But that failure, the injury, not knowing where my career was headed, was humbling. It changed me in so many ways. Good ways. It helped me turn the corner.” It’s that same corner we all need to turn. “Spend this time discovering who you really are,” encourages Hillesland. “We think of ourselves as our jobs — we’re so much more than that. This is our opportunity to confront this question, and if we’re fortunate, we’ll do it before we retire.” |
call Louann at Counseling Connection-LLC.com
303-721-0005
Louann Hillesland has 31 years of counseling and teaching experience. At Counseling Connection LLC, she helps people take control of their lives offering counseling services from grief and loss, to marriage, parenting and obtaining goals; 303-721-0005. Marywyn Germaine is a Creative Services writer at The Denver Post.
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